Happy "Birth" Day Amelia!

So yes she was born 3 months ago, but know you can hear her not very exciting birth story, since it was pretty scripted and scheduled :)  So lets back track about 3 years, Logan was looking to be quite big (10lbs) so we decided to go ahead and schedule a c-section for the day after his due date.  He did not come before that on his own (honestly he seemed pretty comfy dont know how long he would have stayed in there if we let him), so on 6/3/2010 I woke up in the hospital and was wheeled to the OR at 7am to have my precious boy.   

So now lets come back to just the distant past, when I found out I was pregnant with Amelia my OB (who I love) asked me if I wanted to try for a vaginal birth or schedule another c-section.  Not surprising to anyone that knows me I went with option #2.  We decided we would schedule it for one week before her due date (which was 3/19).  I know many women who do not agree with my decision, even mom questioned if my OB talked me into it (which she sooo didnt), but you know what, I never wanted to be pregnant because I was terrified of labor and all it involved.  I am happy to say that I have 2 beautiful children and have not had to experience one contraction, and I will die perfectly happy and content knowing that.  I will not look back in life and regret my decision, it was my decision, it is my body, and as long as a medical professional said it was safe for both me and my children I was ready to move forward.  We live in a day and age where mothers (people really) have become very judgmental of each other.  Now I am not ever going to say I dont judge people, because I do, but I keep my opinions to myself and realize that often times they are not nice and that I do not know all the facts around the situation.  I know I do not hide the fact that I think women who want to give birth without drugs are freakin insane, but you know what else I know, that I would never make them feel bad about their decision, cause seriously I suppose more power to you for trying to be strong and all, I just dont see the need.  When I can be saved pain due to modern medical technology spare me the pain!!!  Anyway, lets get back to Amelia's story.

So sometime in Jan or Feb we decided to reserve my hospital bed.  We were gonna go with monday 3/11/13 (since that was the day my OB had her hospital shift) but it was 1 week and 1 day before her official due date so for insurance purposes we couldnt.  3/12/13 didnt work because my OB was at another hospital that day, so we went to 3/13/13.  With Logan they were able to plan my c-section for 7am but as you can guess 3/13/13 was a popular day that I guess people were requesting, so I had to take the 12noon slot.  What does that really matter you think, well, you cant eat or drink for 12 hours prior, and telling a very pregnant women to not eat, much less not even drink water for that long, sucks, but what could I do.  

So on 3/13/13 ian and I took logan to moms house and then off we went to the hospital, the next time we would come home we would be a family of 4 (and we still dont think logan had a clue what was going on, but we really dont know since he cant tell us).  I had gone to the hospital with Logan the day before for all the paperwork and blood work and stuff, so we just needed to be there by 10:30am to get me all ready to walk over to the OR at 12noon.  I dont think I ever wrote down Logan's story but let me tell you that I was sooo afraid of the spinal tap (and I suppose the entire procedure) but after it happened realized it wasnt that bad (again thanks to my awesome OB who wrapped me with a warm blanket and gave me a hug as it was happening), so this time around I wasnt afraid of the spinal tap (I mean I wasnt looking forward to it) instead I was just positive that I was going to die.  Yes, I am a pretty negative thinker, I had been telling my OB this entire pregnancy that I was just sure something was going to happen to me at the hospital.  I was trying to tell myself I was crazy but I just couldnt.  I think I didnt think about it with Logan because I didnt have a baby yet, but knowing that if something happened to me now, how he wouldnt understand it and how I wouldnt be there for him, well it got in my head and I just couldnt shake it.  I made Logan a card before I left and put in it a few pictures of us together and wrote down a phrase I had found on pinterest "if whatever happens, remember i did, i do and i will always love you" and tucked it inside his card, all the while tears pouring down my cheeks as I wrote it down.  So you can imagine the very short walk to the OR was horrible for me this time, apart from already being cold and nervous (and therefore shaking uncontrollably) a part of me felt like I was walking to my death, it was the longest short walk I have ever taken.  But I made it there and the wonderful hospital staff got me all setup and then in came Ian with my nurse and we were ready to go.  

At 12:20pm out came Amelia screaming her little tiny head off!!!  I dont even think she was all the way out before she starting screaming, she was mad!!!  She was 8 lbs 14 oz and 21.5 inches long.  Everyone except one person in the room swore she was over 9 lbs, she must have looked hefty for her size.  But she was beautiful and it was a wonderful moment.

her very first picture ever!

first picture with daddy, she must have stopped screaming for a second ;)

first picture with mommy, the screaming came back

  So I made it through the surgery and after an hour or so I was back in the room where Amelia and Ian were waiting for me.  I did much better with the recovery this time, I didnt stop forgetting to breath like with Logan and wasnt trying to not use the lovely drugs that were offered to me, I had the pain pills coming on a schedule, not just when I remembered to ask, much smarter move.  But now that I survived that I was sure that when I went to stand up I was going to die of a blood clot, so I was eager to get out of bed to keep everything moving but again so afraid that when I did stand up it would be the end.  I of course couldnt even attempt it until later in the night, so Logan had already come to visit and it was soooo great to see him.  We got him a backpack with some gifts in it but he didnt really seem to care about those or Amelia, he was just happy to be spending the day with his abuelita and to see me after going almost a whole day without me around.  Finally late at night I decided I was ready to get up, and called my nurses (I had 2 that first night as one was not a new nurse but new to this hospital so she was shadowing another nurse) and they helped me get up and guess what, I am still alive to tell the tale!!!!

Amelia did great with latching on and breastfeeding, but she was having lots of issues with her blood sugar and had lost almost 10% of her birth weight by day 2, so we decided to supplement her with some formula.  I do breast feed and want to try for as long as I can, but I have no issues with formula.  Mom formula feed all of us and Logan had to go on formula around 4 months because I couldnt pump enough when I went back to work.  But it made Ian and I laugh because when they mentioned the prospect of supplementing they were so ready for us to fight back and we just said "ok".  I mean come on, she needed more milk that I could provide, thats all I needed to hear.  Initially they had be use a plastic syringe and when she was breast feeding I was supposed to squeeze little bits into her mouth as she sucked, but it was getting everywhere plus it was poking at my nipples (which were sore enough already), so one nurse asked if we just wanted to have her nurse an then give her a bottle after (again, ready for a fight about nipple confusion) and I was just so happy I couldnt say yes fast enough!!!  We ended up having to stay in the hospital and extra day, they didnt want to release her until her blood sugar levels remained normal and until she stopped losing weight, so for that to happen I had to feed her every 2 hours, for about 36 hours.  And that was every 2 hours from the start of a feed.  So say I started at 1am, she would finishing nursing around 1:25am, then finish her 1 ounce bottle around 2am (yes it took that long), and then we needed to start again at 3am.  We were both soooo tired, I was so glad when they said we could let her sleep and just feed her when she woke up (but no more than 4 hours).

Logan meeting Amelia

On 3/16/13 we were finally able to take her home.  While its nice being in the hospital and having warm meals delivered to you and nurses there to help you with anything, it was nice to go home, and even better to see mom and logan waiting for us.

all ready to go home!

her welcoming committee :)